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November 12, 2007
Have to or choose to?
What if you looked at everything on your To Do lists, personally and professionally, as things you are choosing to do, rather than having to do? Would it change your frustration, procrastination or whatever other ___ations show up when you look at some of the items on your lists? Or some of the meetings you think you have to go to? Or some of the projects you have to finish?
I was sitting waiting for a meeting to start today and the other person was 40 minutes late. As the time stretched on I found myself getting more annoyed and was scripting in my mind what I would say when they showed up. Then I thought--wait a minute--I'm choosing to be here. I can leave or I can stay. I have other things I can do while I'm waiting ( a primary reason I love having my GTD system be portable.) The meeting was valuable for me whenever they showed up. That simple awareness snapped me out of my upset. The person eventually showed up giving the standard 'Sorry I'm late,' but we moved on and had a great meeting. As a side note, what the person did, however, is train me that they are not someone who manages their agreements very well. Good to know for next time.
Of course we all have things we have to do in our jobs in order to get paid, even some things we don't like. But aren't we really choosing to have this job versus another one? I imagine there are a ton of other jobs any of us could choose instead. Some part of you chose the one you have. How you choose to relate to it is up to you.
Perhaps this is one of those that is sometimes easier said than done...but I remain the eternal optimist.
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- William James
Posted by Kelly at November 12, 2007 03:37 PM
Comments
Thanks Kelly. This is a great way to reframe and remind us why we are engaging in a particular task or activity. Every few months I review my next action lists and projects and ask myself this critical question (what do I 'choose' to do vs. what do I 'have to' do). Afterwards, I move items that are more in the latter category to my someday/maybe list and subsequently have a surge of creative energy and commitment.
At the end of the day, we should be motivated by the feeling of successfully engaging in and completing our work, not by a to-do list. The Runway and 10k ft lists are simply tools to organize this process.
Incidentally, this dynamic is reflected in Neil Fiore's The Now Habit. Here is a quote from the book worth sharing for this dialogue:
"Whenever you catch yourself losing motivation on a project, look for the implicit 'have to' in your thinking and make a decision at that moment to embrace the path--as it is, not the way you think it should be--or let go of it. It's your choice" (p. 59).
Posted by: Brian J. Elizardi at November 13, 2007 09:09 AM
This change of attitude can be empowering. And it certainly reduces stress. Thanks Kelly.
Posted by: Angela Esnouf at November 13, 2007 05:41 PM
