I've been told that denial ( besides being a river in Egypt) is conscious lying to self.
Well, I have a lot of D words that I have allowed to bring myself back down to the level of chaos that makes it feel as though my life is out of order and control. First is disappointment in my own reactions to how I handle a situation, for me it's either because of a human interaction at work that confuses me & tells me I am inadequately equipped to solve this dilemma & so I berate myself. If this goes on without resolve I then get discouraged and that is the first stage of shutting GTD out, my inbox starts to fill and is not empty at the end of the day; things are really running me...at this stage I am seeking ways to not confront my behavior and begin to avoid confrontations and situations that actually scare me until I have no choice because I get cornered. (It's at this point, if I have an addictive nature that I begin drug or drink seeking behaviors) either way I have now become an actor in my own life, a fraud of myself. Because of the values & principles I have been endowed with, I still care, I always care about keeping up the functioning front. But if this goes on without the energy to come back to the surface (a pun on the life levels where I am now below the runway) I will end up in despair. That is when life's purpose no longer matters because I dealing with urgent crisis events as they occur and am floundering. Finally, a place where I have been in the past but not recently, gratefully, is the second to last D - depression. If no intervention takes place there is only one other D-the big one Death.
Now I realize that this sounds very melodramatic; but you see, I have been shown & learned & practiced a means to 'making it all work' and because I allowed something, some little virus in life to stop me from continuing this process, I am running, fully aware that I have a solution but am no longer using it.
I can ask for help, I can beat myself up, I can just stay angry, but ultimately it's still up to me to get back into my life and put my GTD black belt back on and deal with it. No more mamby, pamby, poor me, pour me a drink kind of attitudes. It's really about self-pity and feeling sorry for myself because of the apparent blows life is handing me.
What I have written above could be biographical or hypothetical. That I will not reveal. I do know that it is a scenario that I have seen with my own eyes but whether it's in a mirror or another's eyes doesn't really matter.
What I can say is that my own life presently is providing me with opportunities for growth through transition in both my personal & especially professional life. I am not always as graceful as a ballet dancer but I am growing through this chapter and it sure is interesting. There are always people, who may not necessarily know the GTD way of life, who are around me, mentoring me, guiding me, nudging me who care and for that I am grateful, but it's still up to me to get back and use GTD to create my own style of effectiveness & efficiency.