I made the mistake of confusing a value or higher level "purpose" with a project. My relative was in a nursing home and I defined my project as "ensuring humane treatment". What I really needed to do was define the project in terms of frequency of visits, attending meetings, monitoring food, meds, the finances, bringing in decorations and tasty foods etc. I might have been able to make the whole awful thing less stressful for myself if I was more clear and specific. I would have known if what I was doing was enough given my resources and not be guilt ridden for not doing enough.
Thanks for sharing, I found it very helpful in thinking about my aging parents.