hobby paradox problem
I keep up with my workload, but
I would need some recreational time.
Normally, one spends this on some "hobby".
A hobby in my definition is something without direct purpose.
I have (psychological) difficulties in doing something (blocking time for something) which has no goal / sense / meaning / result beneath the doing itself.
It makes me feel guilty about what I am not doing from my n/a-lists.
So a normal "hobby", which would an arbitrary choice from "per se meaningless activities" doesn´t make me relax.
Ergo, I don´t relax.
On the other hand, something with a purpose, e.g. charity work, seems like another obligation which only adds up to the "serious" workload and therefore isn´t truly relaxing.
Seems a vicious circle in which I´m trapped for quite a time.