How do you deal with distant, sporadic agendas?

[vic_lh]

Thank you very much people for all the great suggestions. There are a lot of interesting hints here. I've been thinking for a long time to start using the tickler file, maybe this could be a good 'excuse'.

I also find comfortable Jrdouce's idea about @agenda. It's kind of a 'list of lists', if I get it right. It would allow me to remember my commitment on a regular basis without being too overkill.

The thing with this friendship is that it is quite an old acquaintance, and one of those friendships that do not really require that much frequency. In fact, I think getting together more often could even be dangerous for our relation, it's like we need to go and do our lives for a while and 'let the battery recharge' before someone calls the other one again.

I am being that specific here just to note that I don't think Barb's 'do it right away' approach, while very praiseworthy usually, would work in this case. If, say, the day after one of our meetings, I'd send the book to my friend right away, I think it would not feel comfortable for any of us; but after a couple of months, bringing the book would be the perfect warm up to continue the conversation where we left it.

Thank you all guys.

[artsinaction]

If, say, the day after one of our meetings, I'd send the book to my friend right away, I think it would not feel comfortable for any of us; but after a couple of months, bringing the book would be the perfect warm up to continue the conversation where we left it.

That makes perfect sense, given the friendship. I can see how sending it out right away might be taken as encouragement for more frequent visits... good point.

By the way, my tickler is indispensable. And that wasn't always the case. The key was remembering to check it, of course!! I had to put up little "Check the Tickler" notes around my office as reminders initially, but now I couldn't function without it.

Dena

[Mike L]

The way I handle the OPs situation is by creating a file for the person in my @agenda folder. In this case I would enter the book loan. Then for my weekly review I have an entry that says "look at meetings on calendar for next week and see if you have agendas for them". I have some weekly meetings I don't need to do that for, I know I have agenda files. But for the infrequent meeting this way I don't have to remember if that meeting has an agenda or not; I'll check at the appropriate time. And if it does have an agenda I modify my calendar entry to remind myself to look at the agenda prior to the meeting. In the specific example here if I'm meeting the friend for lunch I would probably create a separate calendar entry the nite before that says "put book in briefcase" so I know I'll have it with me.

[enyonam]

If the situation with Bob is more like "Ok Bob, if we meet in the month or two I'll try to remember to give him the book", I'll add it to my someday/maybe list called 'When next ... visiting with Bob'. I do this because I see this as a someday item - I don't really want to see it in my @agendas when I'm in the daily grind. So when I know I might see Bob at a friend's party or whatever, I'll scan my someday/maybe list and say "Ah, maybe I should carry that book with me in case Bob's there".

I do this too with those 'would be nice to have lunch one of these days' conversations. This is the situation where it's not something either of us are really committed to but if free time ever pops up I'd be nice to do it. Those don't go on my action lists because, really, I'm not committed to actioning it right now. Those go on my someday/maybe list under "Visits / Lunches / Dinner to Have". And those I glance at during my weekly review because then I know what my hard and soft landscapes look like in the next week or two and whether I can fit in a lunch or dinner. If I can, then @agendas, @calls or @computer (email) get's a next action to schedule lunch/dinner, and I may even create a tentative calendar entry.

[artsinaction]

Those go on my someday/maybe list under "Visits / Lunches / Dinner to Have".

I had those things on my endless Someday/Maybe list. It makes much more sense to pull them out to their own list... which is what I just did! What I found was that I needed to make a separate section for the more obligatory visits - the people we need to see at least once a year - but the main list is the fun "Hey, we have a free night! Who shall we have over?" list. Thanks!

Do you have other breakout lists on your Someday/Maybe list, enyonam?

Dena