Projects about not-doing

[shane_k]

So stopping a bad habit is a piece of cake - you just create a list of reasons and download an iPhone app...

Actually no, I didn't say it would be a piece of cake.

Having a list of reasons on why you want to quit something, serves the same purpose and is just as powerful as having a list of reason why you want to start something.

And when you get the urge to indulge in a behavior, when you are in that moment of temptation, pulling out that list and looking at those reasons, can interrupt that pattern, and change your state of mind in that moment.

It is not always going to be easy. But it can help.

I will give you an example.

I am a Personal Trainer.

And I have a lot of clients who want to quit eating junk food, eating cake, eating McDonald's, eating pizza, quit smoking, quit drinking, etc.

And from my experience, I know that when they are in that moment of temptation, when they are standing in line at McDonald's, and they pull out that list, and see something like, "I don't want to feel fat anymore" or "I don't want to ashamed when I take my shirt off at the beach" that can be very powerful.

And most times they will change their mind and leave McDonald's without buying anything. And yes sometimes they will cave in and indulge.

And if you take a moment to think about it. This is like GTD in that when you want to do something, or even quit something you will have a list of reasons in your head. Writing that list down just clarifies them and makes it easy for you to reflect on them.

I strongly disagree. Both methods focus on bad habit which is a bad habit. You should focus on good habits.

As someone who has studied Psychology, NLP, and Personal Change, I can tell you that to say you should only focus on good habits is wrong and doesn't fit the real world.

Yes, with a lot of people you do want them to focus on good habits and the pleasure that will bring.

But there are also alot of people who are not motivated by the postive but by pain. And those people you need to get them to focus on the bad habits and what it will cost them if they don't change to get them to move and take action.

I can guarantee you that if you were to talk to David Allen about why people are learning GTD, alot of them will be focused on the good habits it creates, but alot of them will be focused on the bad habits, like procrastination, disorganization, having no control. and it is these things, the bad habits that drove them to find GTD and to start applying it.

And in this "smoking" example it seems that the person trying to stop smoking periodically rewards herself/himself with a day of smoking. Very counterintuitive.

Well that is probably because I did a poor job of explaining it. If you go into Itunes and read their description I am sure they can put it better than I can.

[TesTeq]

Actually no, I didn't say it would be a piece of cake. (...)

Thank you for your explanation. I've learned a lot.

And once again you reminded me that people are different and what motivates me (good habits and positive outcomes) does not necessarily motivate other people.

[Gardener]

Are there things you can do to help yourself not-do? I imagine the following:

Stop-smoking prep:

- Create substitute hand-to-mouth habit
-- Try several kinds of mints; choose favorite.
-- Store mints in coat, in car, at desk at work, in backpack.

- Eliminate smoking break habit at work
-- Talk to Joe about joining lunchtime walking group.
-- Buy second pair of running shoes to keep at work for walks.
-- Stock up on murder mysteries to read at desk when weather makes walking impossible.

- Eliminate lunchtime smoking associations. (Cafeteria picnic tables associated with smoking.)
-- Research nearby restaurants.
-- Talk to spouse about budgeting for restaurant lunches for at least three months.
-- Daily reminder: Eat lunch out.

- Shift smoking associations
-- Choose a workplace smoking location where I otherwise never go.
-- Daily reminder: Smoke _only_ there.

- Eliminate smoking temptation
-- Ask spouse about social obligations for the next three months.
-- Decide which ones to cancel for smoking temptation risk.

Stop-smoking maintenance:

- Refresh mint supply if needed. (repeating, weekly)
- Refresh murder mystery supply if needed. (repeating, weekly)
- Evaluate further need for lunchtime out. (At two month mark.)
- Evaluate next three months' worth of obligations. (At two month mark.)

And so on, and so on.

[TesTeq]

Are there things you can do to help yourself not-do? I imagine the following:

Stop-smoking prep:

- Create substitute hand-to-mouth habit
-- Try several kinds of mints; choose favorite.
-- Store mints in coat, in car, at desk at work, in backpack.

- Eliminate smoking break habit at work
-- Talk to Joe about joining lunchtime walking group.
-- Buy second pair of running shoes to keep at work for walks.
-- Stock up on murder mysteries to read at desk when weather makes walking impossible.

- Eliminate lunchtime smoking associations. (Cafeteria picnic tables associated with smoking.)
-- Research nearby restaurants.
-- Talk to spouse about budgeting for restaurant lunches for at least three months.
-- Daily reminder: Eat lunch out.

- Shift smoking associations
-- Choose a workplace smoking location where I otherwise never go.
-- Daily reminder: Smoke _only_ there.

- Eliminate smoking temptation
-- Ask spouse about social obligations for the next three months.
-- Decide which ones to cancel for smoking temptation risk.

Stop-smoking maintenance:

- Refresh mint supply if needed. (repeating, weekly)
- Refresh murder mystery supply if needed. (repeating, weekly)
- Evaluate further need for lunchtime out. (At two month mark.)
- Evaluate next three months' worth of obligations. (At two month mark.)

And so on, and so on.

As I see "not doing" requires a lot of preparation and work. You must be really determined to do it!

[CJSullivan]

As I see "not doing" requires a lot of preparation and work. You must be really determined to do it!

Quitting smoking was without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done (18 years ago) - these are great strategies! Although I admit, seeing it all down on a list makes it look quite daunting! (Hint: it is, but it's doable.) But then, sometimes my Mind Sweeps look pretty daunting too! Getting it all down on paper, y'know...!

[TesTeq]

Quitting smoking was without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done (18 years ago) - these are great strategies! Although I admit, seeing it all down on a list makes it look quite daunting! (Hint: it is, but it's doable.) But then, sometimes my Mind Sweeps look pretty daunting too! Getting it all down on paper, y'know...!

"Unfortunately" I had no chance to experience it myself - both smoking and quitting smoking.