First of all thank you everyone for your responses - I am overwhelmed by the support and glad to know I'm not alone. And perhaps true to form I have managed to allow 24 hours to elapse before studying and replying to posts - this is not out of disrespect to the people who posted but rather a reflection of what I'm fighting within myself.
Many things that were written struck a chord with me - I think perhaps I need to face the fact that I am a procrastinator. Also I have been trying very much to dive in at the deep end and instantly becoming discouraged when really I would have been better taking that single bite of the elephant. As several people have said I'm not great at sticking to it and I need to find a way to overcome my internal intertia and keep going.
I'm not feeling well today - which lets face it happens to all of us - yet that has given me extra reason to let things slide even though I have come into work (I have to be honest!)
I think there is a serious question raised over my higher altitude horizons - that I'm not doing what I want to be doing is a common complaint for me. I know that's not an excuse but nonetheless it does strike a chord. Recently I gave myself permission to play - just the odd game on my iPhone - and I realised how little I've allowed this into my life and how good it felt.
The other thing I've noticed is that I'm often most productive in the last hour or two of the day - when I know I'm up against a deadline. I might write a post separately on that - but it seems that the added pressure of having the deadline looming makes me finally engage.
Not sure what else to say at this stage - I'll add thoughts when I'm a bit clearer headed but I wanted to say thank you to everyone for their help - it's definitely given me a lot to think about and even if I have to admit I am a procrastinator - at least I can do something about it!