I hope you don't mind me commenting. What I would probably do is, for each thing, decide what my own next action will be. For example: if I don't hear anything back from anybody about this, then 2 days from now I'll send an email to X asking about it. (Reminder goes in tickle file.) I can decide on that next action even if I'm almost certain I will hear other things back before then. When I receive incoming information, I can then decide to leave my next-action as-is in my system, or change it to something else.
Re micromanaging: Just an idea. You can keep score. Every time you refrain from giving someone a reminder or instruction and just trust them to handle a situation, give yourself a point and also decide how many negative points you'll get if the person messes it up (not just does it differently from how you would!). For example, for something of small importance you might decide that being tactful is worth +1 and the job being left undone is worth -2. For more important things it could be -10. The object of the game is to keep your score near zero in the long run. If the other person considers the action unnecessary and you have no concrete evidence that your approach is better, you don't get the negative points. I just thought this up -- it may need tweaking and isn't necessarily a good idea.
Inability is an abstract thing involving comparison with alternate universes; it cannot be experienced.