Under commit/over deliver - how can you just say "no&qu

[jkgrossi]

I've read alot about learing to say "no" to commitments, but I'm trying to figure out how to put this into practice.

I just can't imagine going to my boss and saying "no" when she asks me to do something. I know that she would think that I was not being a "team player", or willing to sacrifice for the good of the company.

Any suggestions on how to put this into practice?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

The great help for me with David's system is that I have a current and ongoing knowledge of all commitments as well as other possiblities. That is a great help, because I don't have to say "No", I only have to renegotiate, and I have all the information I need to do that (or can have it in a brief period of time.

So, my response is, "Sure I can do that, but that means I will have to put project X on the backburner for a couple of days, because I also have to complete Y and Z before Monday, is that allright?"

I don't say no (except to myself), I just renegotiate the commitments.

HTH,
Gordon - in Canada

[Jason Womack]

I have a personal experience about this to share.

I was once at a seminar where David Allen was introducing a room full of executives to our material. At one point, a participant asked, "David, does everyone on your staff do this?"

Without pause, David's reply was, "I don't know. I do know that they don't drop any of the balls I toss their way."

Now, what I knew then is that we as a staff are open about our commitments and agreements to each other. In a typical week, I'll make, renegotiate, and complete many agreements with everyone on staff. And, they'll do the same with me!

It's not so much that we say NO to each other. What we DO do, in fact, is let each other know what we have so that we can work as a team!

[jkgrossi]

The problem that I run into most often is that If I say "Sure, I can do that..." to Project X, but say "I'll have to put Project Y off until Monday" I get "Well, why don't you just stay late tonight so you can do both X and Y" instead of putting either of them off.

Basically, what's happened to me since my implementation of GTD (for good or bad) is that I'll get things like "You don't look like you have a sense of urgency about you and you're not running around like a chicken w/o a head like the rest of us; maybe you need more work" or "Gee, your desk is really neat; you must need more work" or "Wow, you're really efficient - all you're stuff's cought up?; instead of going home on time tonight why don't you go and see of Bill needs some help"!

This happens to me daily, and it's pretty much been that way with every job that I've held.

I think that I need a new career...

[randystokes]

The problem that I run into most often is that If I say "Sure, I can do that..." to Project X, but say "I'll have to put Project Y off until Monday" I get "Well, why don't you just stay late tonight so you can do both X and Y" instead of putting either of them off.

Basically, what's happened to me since my implementation of GTD (for good or bad) is that I'll get things like "You don't look like you have a sense of urgency about you and you're not running around like a chicken w/o a head like the rest of us; maybe you need more work" or "Gee, your desk is really neat; you must need more work" or "Wow, you're really efficient - all you're stuff's cought up?; instead of going home on time tonight why don't you go and see of Bill needs some help"!

This happens to me daily, and it's pretty much been that way with every job that I've held.


I think that I need a new career...

Of course there's another quote David cites in his seminars: "The better you get, the better you'd better get." Whether it's fair or not, the more efficient and effective you get, the more others notice -- and the more they want to give you.

Randy

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this is similar or not. It sounds to me that your boss isn't treating you the way you should be treated. I kind of got that treatment because I don't have kids. Kind of like, well you don't have kids you can be the one who stays late cause I have to pick up mine. I finally had to say something, firmly but gently.

If you think about it, are they asking you to do things they don't do themselves? Or is this consistently happening? Or is a maybe once every two weeks or so.

Just food for thought.

[tallmarvin]

I call this the 'racehorse syndrome'...as soon as people see you winning a lot of races, they all want to ride you.

It's something about the high achiever. Seeing them handle a variety of situations with skill often leads their co-workers, family even(!) to lean on them more as they appear to 'have it all together'. Every team has a 'go-to' guy or gal. I don't have a problem with it...as long as the person going the extra mile is rewarded accordingly for their efforts. Often, this is not the case in the real world....which means that as your skill level rises, you need to get in the bigger arenas a la 'Gladiator' and get the rewards, or continue to stay in the small pond and carry the team (not at all a good thing over the long term).

M

[jkgrossi]

Sometimes the whole thing seems pointless because you always end up making up for other's shortcomings.

My boss is a certified workaholic. She gets into the office every day at 8:30AM and usually doesn't leave before 11:00PM. I also start at 8:30AM, usually end up working thru lunch, and I feel guilty when I leave at 7:30PM...

It never seems like enough. I'm actually considering changing careers...

[Anonymous]

This is an old post but i MUST comment!
Assertiveness Skills are in order!
Anyone working those hours is
1) trying to get rich and cash out and retire
2) has something wrong with their life

If your contract says 40 hrs, stick to it, and be productive. I just tried to "quit" for a guy i work for, and after our lunch her gave me a raise, and less work!
Remember, you teach others how to treat you.
If she works that many hours, and won't bend, move on. Thats nuts.
Unless i have a share in the company, i would just walk!

My boss is a certified workaholic. She gets into the office every day at 8:30AM and usually doesn't leave before 11:00PM. I also start at 8:30AM, usually end up working thru lunch, and I feel guilty when I leave at 7:30PM...