Stress management for meeting planners!

Q. By nature, the job of a corporate meeting planner is hectic and stressful. They must field requests and desires of upper management plus meet the needs and desires of those for whom they are planning a meeting or corporate incentive event. They are trying to please everyone, all of the time-which of course, is impossible to do. So, how can meeting planners reduce stress in their jobs?

DA. The stress will mainly come from insecurity about keeping your agreements, many of which are with other people but all of which are with yourself. The key is to capture, clarify, define, manage, and constantly renegotiate those agreements. It means staying organized objectively with all the moving parts in front of you in some trusted system, always available for review and regrouping, without overly structuring the plan (everything changes!) Most professionals have between thirty and a hundred projects with almost two hundred next actions associated with them, at any point in time. Meeting planners may have double that. And any of that kept solely in your head creates stress, because psychic RAM is a crappy office with limited space! Write everything down, and decide the next physical action on any part that can have forward motion made on it. Keep all that in a trusted system, and keep it in front of your mind as often as you need, to get this stuff off your mind and moving productively. There is usually an inverse proportion to the amount something is on your mind and the amount it's getting done.

Q. How can planners reduce the EFFECTS of stress on them as a result of a high-stress job?

DA. All the typical good stuff - Breathing. Physical exercise. Journal writing. And there's nothing like a hot bath.

Q. Can you share some wellness techniques you'd recommend for stress reduction/management?

DA. Yoga is terrific. Stretching a stiff muscle or joint can almost always relax the psyche like nothing else. And it helps keep you positively engaged in life versus zoning or numbing out.

Q. Describe some specific things or activities planners can do directly following an event to regroup?

DA. First of all, ensure that all the details of the event are truly complete. Debrief completely with a data dump about what still needs fixing, changing, communicating, finishing. Capture any and all "open loops" that still need closing, and get next actions defined for all of them. Then do a review of the next set of commitments impinging on the psyche - personally and professionally - so you can bracket some time to unhook from the demands of the world and have fun.

Q. What kinds of people tend to be the most stressed out? If you're a stressed-out "personality," can you change that?

DA. Stress per se is not bad - if you never had any you wouldn't grow or expand your creative expression as a human being. If you want to be out the door and you're not out the door yet, you're in stress (cognitive dissonance, psychologists call that). That's a good thing, as long as you are contructively engaged in getting out the door. Negative, unhealthy stress is when some part of you thinks you should be out the door, but you're not moving on it or engaged with it in a way to make it happen. You just feel the commitment but you're spinning wheels internally. That's the source of frustration and worry, which are unproductive and unhealthy. As long as you are in the driver's seat, consciously managing yourself as best you can toward what you want to be doing, you're cool. Usually "stressed-out" people have both things going for them - they should just learn to minimize the negative side of that behavior. And yes, that can be learned. The challenge is that, indeed, people can get "addicted" to worry
- i.e. they get so used to it they'll tolerate a large amount of it. If you can't stand worrying, you'll find a way to get out of it.

Q. Is stress more of an "American" thing? Is it cultural? Or is it inevitable in the global society we live in no matter where you live?

DA. My perspective is that until you have fully fulfilled your destiny as a human spirit on the planet, you'll probably be in some level of stress (thank God! - otherwise we'd just disintegrate into flacid complacency). So it's a human thing, not cultural. Of course, much stress comes from increased expectations, relative to resources. If you don't expect much, you're not disappointed. So in a "land of opportunity" like America you're likely to see more of that kind of tension in the culture than in a very underdeveloped (commercially), pastoral society. But you'll probably find a direct link between stress and wise maturity (which comes from transcending it). Where are wise, mature people found? Probably everywhere.

Q. If you believe it is cultural, can we change our culture to better manage our stress, and if so, how?

DA. The more the culture reinforces the values of quality of life instead of quantity of life, the easier it may be to build in habits and support structures that nurture relaxation and a more reflective life. But it is possible to run a four-minute mile and play concert piano and be relaxed. Relaxed is not unconscious or necessarily "slow" - relaxation is a key factor in concentration, and a culture (and a
person) can be very healthy, relaxed, and focused and get tons of things done.

Again, the issue is managing your agreements with yourself. If you break your commitments with yourself, you'll be in negative stress. So you either don't make the commitments (lower expectations), keep the agreements (get busy and finish your stuff), or renegotiate your agreements (constantly review and make smart choices about what you can and should be doing, at any moment in time). The culture is just an accumulation of the individuals involved, and these three things are going to have to be addressed by everyone, no matter what's going on around them.

Q. Do you have any other thoughts you think might be helpful?

DA. One of the best ways to improve is to find mentors that model what you want, or want to be doing or experiencing more of. So, if I were a stress-out meeting planner, I'd look around for successful meeting planners who aren't (or who at least aren't as stressed-out as I am). Then I'd take them to lunch and find out how they do it. Everyone has a key.